Everything in my head now feels like it’s counting down to surgery. I get home from this dance exchange (which has been fabulous) tonight at 9 o clock, I spend tomorrow hunting down drugs and ice packs and getting things down from shelves, an then tomorrow night I leave for Cleveland so I can be at the surgery at 6:30 in the morning.

But there’s time for one more extra-curricular adventure before all that starts… Monday night karaoke!!!

If you had told me two years ago that I would be spending (almost) every Monday night in a gay bar singing my heart out I would have told you that you were being ridiculous. I don’t like bars, I don’t like singing in public, and I’m not gay. But this is what happens when you have friends who love and care about you – you wind up doing all sorts of strange things in order to build those relationships, and sometimes you find yourself turning into a karaoke singer without even realizing it.

I also never thought I’d say thing, but bars… they can be ok. Especially when you’re a regular and you know the staff by name. I did have to have a nice talk with one chap along the lines of “I know you’re trying to be really nice when you pour my drink super strong, but I cycled here and I have to cycle home, and I cannot actually trust myself to do that after even one of your gin and tonics.” I have been legitimately asked to go out and split a beer in the past, and I still usually wind up turning over a chunk of my drink to whoever comes with me.

So who comes with me? A bunch of folk who I won’t name because this is a public blog, but they all fit under the label of “queer” in one way or another. I don’t have many queer-only spaces, and karaoke is not explicitly named that way, but the breakdown of the population is one of the main reasons that I feel comfortable and safe to sing, and drink, and take risks with my gender presentation in one way or another.

Oh goodness, x-only spaces. One of the most controversial, drama-filled topics you can touch on when you bring up queer and trans issues. Am I really doing this today?

…Actually, I think not. I do have thoughts on this topic, but I want to make a full post about them. My redux version is this: I understand the need for x-only spaces, I am hurt when people invade them without participation in that label, and I will actively try and discourage people from doing so, even if it hurts or offends them. I think the x of x-only spaces can be chosen more thoughtfully than it often is, such that you don’t have to deny anyone’s identity in order to preserve your sanctuary. I think that enclosed spaces should be about safety and clear communication, but also about responsibility to the wider world. I’ll tell you more about that later.

For now, back to the singing.

My voice is rather squeaky. “Chipmunk on helium” is a phrase that has been used on more than one occasion, and because this makes me seem more childish, if not more femme, I’m pretty hesitant to sing these days unless I’m in a trusted crowd. This suck a little because I love to sing – as anyone who has ever heard me taking a shower or doing the washing up will attest – and as a choir-singer I have a lot of good memories of sharing community through harmony. My voice is not going to get significantly deeper unless I go on testosterone, which I don’t especially want to do, although I did find a good exercise to stretch your vocal chords non-hormonally, which has had a gentle effect on my range. If you would like to try it I recommend not doing it more than a few times a day, because stressing out your vocal chords isn’t fun for anyone.

Hum in your through as low as you can. While holding the note, tip your head back, which will drop your pitch. Still humming, slowly bring your head back upright and try to maintain that new, lower note. Repeat 2 more times.

I’ve been doing this for a few months now, and while it’s not always especially noticeable I have found that I can sing songs with a deeper range now than I could before – my lowest comfortable singing pitch now is the lowest note of “Take Me To The River” by the Talking Heads, if you want to compare with your own vocal range. Maybe it would be fun to work towards a target song if you’re doing this regularly?

My karaoke repertoire alternates between alto and high tenor. I’ve been pushing myself to sing songs with a little more punch to them, which in turn has made me more confident getting up to sing in general. My standards are:

• Dreams, by Fleetwood Mac
• Wicked Game, by Chris Isaak
• Zombie, by the Cranberries

I’ve had a lot of fun trying:

• Radioactive, by Imagine Dragons
• Fireflies, by Owl City
• Elastic Heart, by Sia
• Jones, by Counting Crows
• While Rabbit, by Jefferson Airplane
• Nightswimming, and Losing my Religion, by R.E.M.
• Stictches, by Shawn Mendez

I’m sure there are more.

Let me know if you have any requests for tonight! You never know, I might just give them a go.